Sunday, April 13, 2014

Why I've Been Silent

I know it's been a while since I have posted. I will say that I'm truly sorry for the silence. I didn't mean to go dark on all of you, I just merely needed to process what was going on and try and find some answers before I talked to all of you.

The truth of the matter is that I still haven't found any answers. I only know what my friends have been able to tell me through comfort and consoling.

I have found NOTHING on the subject, except speculation on my own part which I will offer, BUT PLEASE, do not under ANY circumstances take my words as truthful. There are NO studies backing up my speculations at this point, BUT, having said that-- I hope they will one day try my speculations.

I turned 40 this past year, I'm actually almost 41, and this year is the poking and prodding year for me when it comes to yearly exams. I probably should have had some of these tests a little earlier in my life, but insurance only covers so much and I'm not rich, so therefore, I'm on a payment plan when it comes to my health. I have been since 1999. I'm sure MANY of you can relate.

This year I've had 2 EKG's for my heart. The first one was to make sure I wasn't having a heart attack. I wasn't and was diagnosed with anxiety. That's pretty normal for Fibro people, especially when you don't know you are allergic to wheat. Now, I still suffer from panic attacks every now and again, BUT they are mild compared to what I experienced before. The second EKG was for hitting 40. I passed with flying colors for both. In fact, one doctor said I had the heart of an 18 year old. I'm glad I "feel" less than half my age!

My second screening was a mammogram for 40. I thought that would turn out fine because I've never felt, nor has my OBGN's felt, a lump. It did not turn out so great.

I remember feeling numb during the first phone call. It honestly was the first call I had ever gotten that sounded bad right from the start. I could hear the woman's sympathy loud and clear. She wanted to schedule a second test. I confirmed a date without thinking of anyone but myself. Which to be honest, is actually a good thing, because I rarely think of myself. Of course, sadly, my ulterior motive was to get a second testing to clear me so I could care for everyone in my life. Yeah, I'm NO different than you. I have A LOT of people that count on me.

The second test had a lot more prodding than the first and I was sore for almost a week after. It was not a pleasant experience, but I was still hopeful until I got the third call for an ultra sound while I was still there.

I was prodded and poked again and the specialist came in and told me that I needed an MRI because they still see "something". BUT I had to wait until I had my period to schedule an appointment. Sometimes there is fluctuations in hormones and they want to capture that on an MRI.

In a week and a half, I was literally lucky to schedule an appointment. Terry, my OBGYN's receptionist nurse, was nice enough to explain more of my situation while scheduling the MRI at the hospital. I apparently had fibro dense breasts, but the left breast was the one in question. It was only one particular area. The top right, and deep in the tissue.

I went into the MRI scared as hell, and not because of the small quarters, but because this was a 5th check of my breasts at 40.

The MRI went okay. I heard A LOT of noise that felt annoying at times. I couldn't truly hear the music they tried to blast in my ears. I only heard the annoying buzzer of the machine.

My MRI didn't turn out great, though. They want to see me in 6 months because the area in question is still in question. The good news is that it's small. The bad news is that they can't biopsy it because they could hit a lung or a vein according to where it is.

Needless to say, I am overwhelmed by emotion and I had to wait to tell all of you. I just couldn't find the words. It pains me because I want the answers for all of you. All of this has happened in the course of the past 2 months. I hope can you forgive me for not speaking sooner because I want to research for you to the best that I can. IF this is Fibro related, I will do my best to research and keep you posted. If not, this is just another part of me.

Love and friendship!
Kimberley
AND
Stay fabulous!

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Great Deal on All of My Ebooks and 10% off of My Books!

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Cannot be combined with other offers. Not valid on services.
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Stay fabulous!
Love and friendship,

Kimberley

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