Wrestling is not a subject I talk about often on Fibro and Fabulous. I enjoy the entertainment side of wrestling very much. My family and I watch RAW and SMACKDOWN faithfully and I've been a fan since childhood. Something happened this past Monday on RAW that lead me to tears and I don't cry very easily, but this really hit home...
Edge (Adam Copeland) is my age and he had to retire from something he loves. It hurt to watch his speech because he's too young to have to be dealing with a tired, worn-out body. It's sad to hear him say that he feels he's let his fans down and that he's mad at his body quitting on him.
This wrestler may not have Fibromyalgia-- and really-- let's not spread any rumor of that sort, but he most definitely is going through all of the same emotions that every Fibromite goes through when they have to come to terms with the fact that they can't do what they once did. I know I went through it.
You blame yourself first thinking you were weak and couldn't hack certain tasks. You compare yourself to others thinking they do more than you and you have to keep up with them. After that, you blame your body and then you feel guilty for letting everyone down. Sound familiar?
This is tough to go through and it's tough to get through, but you have to because people depend on you to be you. Yes, you heard me right-- people depend on you to be you. Your disability does not define you. You define you. And the best way to help yourself through this hard road is to remember that your life has many facets and each one of those facets makes you shine as a person. Not just the one you can't do anymore.
I remember the day I retired from my 18 year career at retail. Yeah, it wasn't the best job-- I always wanted to write for a living, but retail allowed me to help people and it paid the bills-- something writing didn't do for me. That day was a sad one because I had to say goodbye to everyone I grew up with. I had to leave everything I knew. It was scary, actually.
But then something wonderful happened, day two. On day two, I took a deep breath and thought about my life. I realized that things weren't as bad as what they seemed. I had a roof over my head, the world didn't end, and for the first time in almost 20 years, I was looking forward to the summer. I realized that I was looking at myself in the wrong way at that point and I needed to reinvent myself.
Madonna and Cher made a mint off of reinventing themselves, but you don't have to make a mint, an idea will do. Look at all of your good qualities and reinvent how you see yourself. I guaranty that people see you differently than you see yourself because you are beautiful and fabulous. Let the fabulous facets shine!
Love and friendship,