Saturday, September 25, 2010

Taking Care

Care takers are a strange breed.  They seem to have a bountiful amount of energy, are always cheerful, and can do just about anything when it comes to taking care of the sick.  They are amazing and truly can't be thanked enough for what they do.

My life has blessed me with the understandings of both sides of the fence, I am a care taker and I receive care taking for myself on occasions.  This understanding gives me great perspective when it comes to asking for help when I need it.  I never used to ask for help.  I always thought that if I couldn't handle something it was a sign of weakness on my part.  Even if the job over powered my physical strength, like lifting a compact washer on top of a compact dryer, I still thought that I should be able to do it when asked.

As a side note... Anyone can lift a compact washer on top of a compact dryer, all on their own, (even if they are 100 pounds soaking wet) if they are pissed off enough at their boss for asking such a stupid thing.

I guess I thought this way because I was trained to at my job.  People there just assumed I would do anything and everything for them because I never said no.  Okay, well, that's only partly true.  I said no, but it wasn't heard.  Why?  It was because I didn't set any boundaries.

Boundaries are important when it comes to care taking.  If you are the care taker you have the responsibility to set limits for yourself because contrary to popular belief, you aren't Superman.  In fact, I know you aren't because my Daddy told me he was when I was three.  Oops!  That was supposed to be a secret LOL!

And if you are on the receiving end, you also have a responsibility.  It's just that your responsibility is a little different.  You need to make sure that there is open dialogue between you and your care taker.  This way you know if the boundaries that were set are still valid.  I know this may sound weird, but things really can change day to day without you or your care taker realizing it.

My life has been pretty regular this past year.  I was at my Grandparents' house every day, all day, for the past year.  It worked out well because my oldest, Brittanny, was in school until 6 pm due to an after school program at a local college around here.  It was easy for me to be there, cook their meals and then go home to tend to my own...

This year, though, is a little different.  Brittanny is in a different school because we moved to be closer to my my Grandparents and Parents' houses.  This school is a private one and the school system wants active parents.  It's no surprise because all Catholic schools need all the funding they can get, but I'm finding that I need to set a few limits, and not just with the Grandparents.

Life can be pretty complicated when you add every aspect in, even religion.  I'm not saying all of you should go and proclaim that you are atheists.  Please!  Even they have social gatherings.  I'm just saying that you need to find a way to allow yourself some boundaries, even when it comes to your family and your faith.  You can only do so much.  Really.  And no one can decide when enough is enough except you. 

Stay fabulous!
Love and friendship,

Kimberley
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