Sunday, August 31, 2008

Being Intimate On Relationships

Okay, hopefully most of you reading this have read my prior blog and know that some of my posts, though clean in wording, won't be a good read for kids. This will be one of those kinds of posts. Now, having said that, I feel better that you are forewarned and we can get to the subject at hand.

Relationships are hard enough without adding the extra burden of Fibro, but what can one do when Fibromyalgia and Sex Can Be A Pain In The Neck? Well, the first thing to do is to talk about it. I know that sounds too simple and you all may think I'm just plain off my rocker, but think about it for a second. How many of you out there sweep your pain under the rug, shrug it off, and then proceed to go about your day like nothing is wrong? How many people do you "do" that too? Do you do it with your co-workers? Your friends? Do you do it to your partner? I know I've done it with all of the above because I felt that my pain wasn't important at the time. But really, how silly is that? If I'm "important" in my co-workers, friends, and partner's lives, then my feelings of being in pain are important. So shrugging it off as if it were nothing, is well, like saying "I'm nothing and not important." Frankly, I know that that statement couldn't possibly be true. And it's simply because I know I matter to people-- just as you matter to the people in your life.

Talking about your everyday pain really is important because it will give you and your partner a barometer of your "good" and "bad" days. You then both will be able to tell when a flare is coming, why it might have happened, and what it may have been caused by.

Not all flares can be determined, depending on your actual Fibro condition, however, some CAN be prevented using this simple method. And if you and your partner can get a general idea of why you may hurt, intimacy may not be so foreign in your lives as a couple. It can become fun instead of just being another thing that causes you a pain in the neck.

I go into further detail about this subject in my book called Fibromyalgia and Sex Can Be A Pain In The Neck...and back and shoulders by explaining what has worked for my husband and I, if you want to read more, but for now I will leave you by saying, take care of yourselves and stay fabulous!

Love and friendship,

Kimberley

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

What is Fibro and Fabulous?

It never really dawned on me to do an actual blog about having Fibromyalgia. I've written two books on the subject since my diagnoses, but I never really thought about taking the subject further than the form of a book. Looking back at the whole thing, I realized that it was just silly not to. And now, the blog Fibro And Fabulous is born. Funny thing about this whole situation is, that that's kind of how my books got published in the first place too-- I wasn't really thinking about it lol!

Having said that, I also got the idea from looking at what is ahead for the month of September, and during the week of September 8-14, is Invisible Illness Awareness Week. Frankly, I can't think of a better illness than Fibromyalgia to talk about since it has been an invisible illness for a little over two centuries. Researchers have found information on the syndrome in books dating back to the 18th century and some have even found references in the Bible at or around 4 BC, but most doctors of today didn't (and some still don't) recognize Fibromyalgia as an actual illness until the FDA approved the medicine Lyrica. That's pretty sad, but true. I remember getting misdiagnosed for years because my doctors simply didn't want to admit to the fact that they had no idea what I had, nor did they want to label it Fibromyalgia. There is a wonderful site out there that is making the month of September a month to remember all of your friends and loved ones that suffer from an invisible illness. There are a lot of illnesses out there that make one NOT look sick and I'm just glad this gal is doing this. You can follow any blogger by clicking on the invisible illness ribbon to check it out.

I will be doing as much blogging as I can on this site about the chronic condition Fibromyalgia, as well as, Chronic Fatigue. I'm going to go into some advise for sufferers, how your family can cope when you become diagnosed, my thoughts on what caregivers may go through with a tough bird like me, and finally, how to live with the illness and still feel fabulous. And for any of you who have read my books, you know that part of being fabulous will also deal with your relationships with others like your children and your mate...especially your mate! We'll get into the territory of my book about intimacy here folks and I promise it will be clean conversation, but this kind of topic is definitely not for kids. So I'll make sure that a warning of some kind is either in my title or in the first paragraph of the particular blog.

I hope you will enjoy reading Fibro and Fabulous. For now, take good care of yourselves and I will chat with you soon!

Love and friendship,

Kimberley

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