Support System

Today's topic is about having a support system in family, friends, and even co-workers. This subject is very near and dear to me because it was the hardest thing for me to do. I'm very independent to a fault because I was used to being the one to help everyone else out. I was not used to being the one who asked for help.

There were days when I became very discouraged at what I couldn't do anymore. I tried very hard not to express any feelings of discouragement, but at those times, my close friends, co-workers, and family would somehow find a way to pry them out of me. They were all very patient with me and frankly, I'm not sure I'd be the person I am today if they were not so persistent with me.

See, the hard part for me was asking someone, like my husband for instance, to do something like open up a jar of pickles if I had no strength in my hands. I felt that if I was the one who wanted the pickles, I should be the one opening up the jar in the first place. Now, I know that using a jar of pickles as an analogy may seem a little weird to people, but it's a good analogy because it seems so trivial. And that's exactly how I felt when I was the one asking for help-- I thought that my asking was trivial.

But sometimes help can't wait a day, or two, or twenty when it comes to things like cooking a meal or even cleaning a kitchen or bathroom. It was at those times that I had to get past my trivial thinking and actually pursue help from those that cared about me.

What you need from people at any given time can range from moral support to someone making a pot of coffee for you. And sometimes the help won't be exactly what you are looking for-- like, say someone, who shall remain nameless,(he knows who he is) may for some reason decide to dry your delicate lingerie in the dryer so they are ready for you to wear that day. That may not seem like the greatest kind of help, but it is help and that is what you may need on those bad days when you can't walk-- let alone do laundry.

The lesson I've learned the most from all of this, is that communication is key to helping and healing not only yourself, but the person or people who want to help you too. Let them know what you need instead of being tip lipped. After all, they may want to love you back for all the good you've done for them. And that would be just fabulous-- wouldn't it?

Love and friendship,


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