Tuesday, September 9, 2008

The Guilt Factor and The Contest

Warning: This blog entry is not a suitable read for children because it contains a mature topic.

Okay, now that the warning is out of the way, I'd like to discuss in today's blog, The Guilt Factor which is a topic I go into great detail about in my book, Fibromyalgia and Sex Can Be A Pain In The Neck... and back and shoulders. I also have an announcement about a special contest that I'm running in honor of National Invisible Illness Awareness Week. I'll discuss that contest in better detail at the end of this blog, but for now, let's talk about our pleasure to please people.

I've always thought that my pleasure to please can get the best of me sometimes. I'm a Mom and I'm sure all you Moms out there know what I mean, but really we all-- whether we are Moms or not-- try to please the people we love by doing things for them. I'm sure everyone will agree (unless you really, really enjoy housework) that cleaning out the cat box, taking out the trash, or cleaning the toilet just are not things we like to do. But we do these things because we love the people and pets we have in our lives. These things, of course, don't always have to be done by you, the sufferer, because, well let's face it-- there are days when even opening up a jar just seems impossible. So you delegate tasks out.

But what happens when it comes to you and your partner's intimacy since that's not something you can just "delegate" out. I'm sure you've felt like me and you've had the pleasure to please on your brain when it comes to this subject. However, intimacy can wind up sounding too much like an everyday task when you hurt and then in comes The Guilt Factor. And let's get even more frank by saying, how can one please their partner and themselves with a little intimacy and still be able to walk in morning? Well, you can do this by getting a little selfish. Use the mantra "It's all about me."

Now, before any of you think that I'm totally crazy-- let me explain what I mean. My husband and I got a little creative and decided to expand my list to include what "works" for my body even when it comes to intimacy. You can read more about my list in the previous blog for more details.

When you start a list for intimacy, you'll become even more aware of your body and how it "works" for you. And the more aware you are, the more "about me" you become. Once you have figured out what works, The Guilt Factor can then go where it belongs-- right out of your life because you'll be able to do what you wanted to in the first place-- please your partner. The only difference now will be that you'll be trying new things, like maybe incorporating more massage into your intimacy, for instance, or you might wind up going back to familiar favorites. But either way, your being selfish by thinking "it's all about me" will wind up being a whole lot of fun for the both of you.

So now that I've touched on The Guilt Factor, how about discussing that contest? How would you like to win an autographed copy of one of my books? I'll be giving away two copies of The Fibro Hand and two copies of Fibromyalgia and Sex Can Be A Pain In The Neck...and back and shoulders to four lucky commenters who read my Fibro and Fabulous blog. So all you have to do is leave a comment on here and be lucky commenter 25, 50, 75, or 100 and you'll be receiving a copy of either book! I'll be checking the tallies and giving you all some updates from time to time on the comments count, and also of course, announce the winners in future blogs. So have some fun commenting and as always, Stay Fabulous!

Love and friendship,

Kimberley
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