Sunday, August 31, 2008

Being Intimate On Relationships

Okay, hopefully most of you reading this have read my prior blog and know that some of my posts, though clean in wording, won't be a good read for kids. This will be one of those kinds of posts. Now, having said that, I feel better that you are forewarned and we can get to the subject at hand.

Relationships are hard enough without adding the extra burden of Fibro, but what can one do when Fibromyalgia and Sex Can Be A Pain In The Neck? Well, the first thing to do is to talk about it. I know that sounds too simple and you all may think I'm just plain off my rocker, but think about it for a second. How many of you out there sweep your pain under the rug, shrug it off, and then proceed to go about your day like nothing is wrong? How many people do you "do" that too? Do you do it with your co-workers? Your friends? Do you do it to your partner? I know I've done it with all of the above because I felt that my pain wasn't important at the time. But really, how silly is that? If I'm "important" in my co-workers, friends, and partner's lives, then my feelings of being in pain are important. So shrugging it off as if it were nothing, is well, like saying "I'm nothing and not important." Frankly, I know that that statement couldn't possibly be true. And it's simply because I know I matter to people-- just as you matter to the people in your life.

Talking about your everyday pain really is important because it will give you and your partner a barometer of your "good" and "bad" days. You then both will be able to tell when a flare is coming, why it might have happened, and what it may have been caused by.

Not all flares can be determined, depending on your actual Fibro condition, however, some CAN be prevented using this simple method. And if you and your partner can get a general idea of why you may hurt, intimacy may not be so foreign in your lives as a couple. It can become fun instead of just being another thing that causes you a pain in the neck.

I go into further detail about this subject in my book called Fibromyalgia and Sex Can Be A Pain In The Neck...and back and shoulders by explaining what has worked for my husband and I, if you want to read more, but for now I will leave you by saying, take care of yourselves and stay fabulous!

Love and friendship,

Kimberley
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